Reasons Why I’m THAT Girl … and a Man Ain’t One
- Allison Washington
- Oct 5, 2025
- 4 min read
“At this point, I’m not trying to be chosen—I don't want to be bothered!!!! lol l'm already chosen. By the Lordt!. And by me.”
Sometimes you just have to pause, reflect, and say it out loud: I’m really that girl. Not because someone hyped me up, not because I’m trying to prove it to the world—but because my life, my resilience, and my progress are proof enough.
After getting unfollowed by a certain someone, I didn’t spiral. I didn’t shrink. I sat in my bed, sick and tired, (a cold tried to take your girl out🤧) and still ended up prophesying to myself. And that moment became the blog post you're reading now.
Let’s talk about why I’m her.
The Unfollow That Unlocked the Truth
I noticed he unfollowed me. And what did I do?
Cue the music:
“Me, myself, and I, that’s all I got in the end. That’s what I found out, and it ain’t no need to cry I took a vow that from now on …”
I sang even though I was supposed to be sad lol because I realized—I’m my own best friend fr fr now. The old version of me who would’ve spiraled. She would have clinged. She would have tried to fix it. She would have compromised. She would have tried to find someone or go back to another to fill the space. Where is she now? She’s resting in peace. (Bless her soul.) This version is thriving in purpose.
"I don’t need y’all to see me. And I don’t need y’all, period."
It's Not Just Soft Girl Era—I’m in My Surrender Era
This is not about bitterness. This is about boundaries and becoming.
“I’m not dating out of survival or the thrill anymore. I’m waiting in purpose.”
I unfollowed all of them. I stopped overlooking behaviors that didn't serve me. This season is about submission—to God, to growth, and to the woman I’m becoming. I owe that to myself and my daughter.
And when it comes to men? What about them? That's not the priority. Because this home I’m building? I need it to be filled with substantial love, peace, and purpose before I invite anyone into my space.
"Chile, we not going through all of this to be hoodwinked again—Aht Aht!"
But let’s be real—getting here wasn’t without grief. There were moments I felt undervalued by one man. Moments where I questioned why another man could overlook someone like me. And it stung. Bad. Not because I needed their validation—but because I had given pieces of my heart where there was no true return.
The grief was real. But the freedom that followed? Even greater.
“Turns out, being overlooked was protection. I used to cry about it. Now I sleep like a baby knowing the freedom I have not being played, emotionally drained, or a used up 'strong woman' for nobody dusty behind son. Now that might step on some toes but it's the reality for women and usually one they find out too late.”
I’m an Author. A Single Mom. And a Whole Legacy Builder.
Let me tell you what I did without a man:
Wrote and published three bodies of work on Amazon
Kept a whole human alive (hi Ava!) for 10 years and counting —Jesussssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Paid big bills. Car maintenance TWICE out of my overflow.
Budgeted like a boss.
Stayed grounded, even when life tested me.
"I did it without a man. Insert Cardi B laugh. Because periiiiooodd."
This Is Training Ground, Not Rock Bottom
When my car bill hit again, I could’ve lost it. But I saw the assignment:
“This is what it’s gonna be like when I’m in my house. Stuff breaks. Big bills happen. And I gotta keep calm, keep budgeting, and keep trusting God.”
It’s preparation. It’s pruning. And it’s proof that God got me.
"God is showing me that a man is supposed to be complimentary—not necessary."
I’m Reclaiming My Voice and My Value
This season isn’t about being chosen by a man or people for that matter. It’s about realizing I was chosen by God and finally choosing myself.
God has been revealing the importance of covenant relationships. Friendships that see me, cover me, and sharpen me. Not transactional, not seasonal—covenant. I realized I was grieving what I thought I lost in potential men, but what I really longed for was deep, mutual, God-ordained connection.
And now? I’m finding it—in friendships, in faith, and in community. And that means more than being picked by someone who doesn’t see my full value.
“I used to think not being chosen meant I wasn’t enough. But now I know it meant I was set apart.”
“Whether he comes or not… I’m still going to flourish.”
We gon be alright! Aye!
Love yourself. Reflect out loud. And remember: you’re not waiting to be chosen. You’re already becoming.
Oh, and because sometimes words aren’t enough—I made you a soundtrack.
It’s called the That Girl Chronicles a playlist that has everything: healing, soft girl vibes, covenant relationships, and a little Cardi energy when you need to laugh at the devil and keep moving. Consider it your background music while you boss up, clean up, cry it out, or clap for yourself.
“So tell me, sis—what’s your ‘I did it without a man’ moment? Drop it below so we can clap for you! Remind yourself (and the world) that you’re THAT girl too. Share this blog with another sis who needs the reminder, and don’t forget to grab the playlist—it’s linked right here for you.
Because period.
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